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How Can We Get a Handle on Rejection?

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It doesn’t matter how skilled or successful we are, rejection is going to happen. When it comes to top-producing loan officers, it’s not that they don’t ever encounter rejection, but that they know how to keep it from slowing them down. Rejection is never pleasant, but the effects can be minimized if we’re prepared for it. It’s a part of the nature of any sales profession, and when you learn to handle it well, it can be a small bump rather than a major hurdle. So, what can we do when we experience rejection? Here are some strategies to keep in mind:

Expect It

Rejection should be a semi-regular occurrence, only. If you’re seeing it more often, it may be a sign that something needs your attention. Occasional rejection, however, shouldn’t hold as much significance. When we see rejection as something to fear and avoid at all costs, that’s when we can begin to make things more difficult for ourselves. Some things are just out of our control. When we acknowledge that rejection is going to happen from time to time, we’re not caught off guard. Rather than letting rejection sideline us and then letting that sabotage our attitude and mindset, learn to see sporadic rejection as par for the course — then we take away much of its power to derail us.

Learn From It

Some rejections stem from circumstances beyond our control, especially when it comes to sales. You might have done the best job possible with a prospect, but they simply chose to go with someone else. This is going to happen, and it’s important to remember that. But before we write a rejection off as mere coincidence, we need to see if there’s anything we can learn from it. The best information can come from the person who rejected us, so if you’re able to, just ask the person who rejected you. If having that conversation isn’t an option, do some reflection. Is there anything you could have done differently? Did you meet your own standards? Do you see it as part of a larger pattern? If you can learn just one thing from a rejection, you’re taking away something invaluable. Not every rejection will come with an edifying lesson, but it’s important to take the time to see if there is one before dismissing it as just an unlucky occurrence.

Don’t Take It Personally

Nobody enjoys getting rejected, but top-notch loan officers know that they can’t take it personally. Yes, you need to always to look for the lesson, but you have to be able to move on with the insight you’ve gained without letting negativity take hold. You should also remind yourself that the experience is in the business realm and isn’t a personal rejection. This can help you create enough distance from the situation to see it more clearly. Especially in the case where you can’t pinpoint an exact reason for the rejection, you need to be able to find some sense of acceptance.

Keep Moving Forward

Along with being able to accept rejection, we need to keep moving forward when we encounter it. Sure, take a little time to reflect, then get back on track striving for the things you want to accomplish. Whether you walk away from a rejection with new insight to grow from, or end up realizing it was more about chance, forward motion is crucial. Some loan officers let rejection become a weight that slows progress and holds them back. Once you’ve taken the time to carefully consider the situation — let it go.


Rejection itself is not entirely avoidable, but many of the negative consequences that come with it are. From a decrease in motivation to a pessimistic mindset, rejection will take a toll on us if we let it. So, we can’t let it.


If you’d like to talk more about any of these ideas, or if there’s another issue I can be of assistance with, please reach out. I’m always happy to block off some time to connect.


Don Riggs

VP – Retail Market Leader

NMLS 132702